I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving, And will call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord Now in the presence of all His people, In the courts of the Lord's house, In the midst of you, O Jerusalem. PRAISE THE LORD! Psalm 119:17-19
I have come to understand this verse in a whole new way since burying Caleb on November 5th. It was my deepest desire to be back in church, to be surrounded by God's people, to worship him. Nothing, however, prepared me for the profound effect that the worship time would have on me.
If I have learned nothing else through this pregnancy and this physical loss of a child it is the grace of God. I have seen this first hand and have been changed by it. I can testify of His goodness - because it is real to me, tangible, I lived it and experienced it - I saw it in the physical and in the spiritual. I can with a clear conscience say I am not angry with God and I don't even question his will in all this. That being said, the pain is still sharp and real, and in this world I can't understand His will. I can not see what He is working in my life - my prayer is that my life is more beautiful because of Him in it, that I have lived and continue to live in such a way as to reflect the God I have come to know more intimately and personally through this trial - That I give him glory and honor which are due him.
However, when the praise music begins and I begin to pray and to sing something happens. As I sing about God's goodness, I praise Him for all that He truly is - as I stand face to face with those realities in the courts of the God most high something happens. All that pain, all that loss, all that ache comes rushing back. My breath catches in my throat, my heart feels squeezed, my eyes fill up and I struggle to keep composure. I struggle with the desire to run up to the alter and lay down weeping before a God that means so much to me that He has given so much that I simply do not deserve.
My praise has become a sacrifice - it hurts, it costs me my comfort - it is no longer all feel-good, fluff. For the first time in my life, I think, I fully realize the impact of grace, the beautifully tragic gift that was laid out for someone who is totally unworthy and will never be worthy. My pain, my loss, my dreams, those things I prayed for that will not be in this earth - all that falls away and I am overwhelmed, consumed.
A sacrifice of praise is the choice in the midst of your pain, suffering, turmoil, heartache, brokenness to come into the House of the Lord and offer up what you know to be true (praise of who He is, thankfulness for what He has done and what He is) even when it sometimes feels so distant.
The sacrifice is costly - it means to do it when you don't feel like it, when it would be easier to stay out of the courts of praise because the pain is so sharp and your throat closes up, your eyes overflow, and you feel again that intense breaking of your heart, your shattered dreams and aching soul.
This choice causes you to look directly on Christ - in all His glory and sacrifice - causes your heart to acknowledge the grace of God that is being lavishly poured out upon you. In the midst of this praise God brings you close to him and begins to comfort and heal you. He gathers you in His arms, wipes away the tears, and whispers his love: "My daughter, you are precious. This pain will come to pass, and in it will be something more beautiful. My heart aches with you, for you, but remember I am able to deliver you...I've loved you since before time began, known you by name and numbered your days and set your path - I can see the end..."
Through the sacrifice we are made more beautiful and we see the spiritual made manifest in this physical world. We are consumed by His love, grace, and mercy - and we are forever changed by the encounter.
I know this time of praise may be hard for a long time to come. The physical world takes time to heal. I am so thankful, for being able to enter the gates of thanksgiving, to come into the Courts of God most High and to lift praises - even if they come from a broken wounded heart that simply doesn't understand.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Brillian Fall Colors
I LOVE it when God paints creation in so many beautiful, breath-taking colors!!!
11/24/2010
11/24/2010
This Thanksgiving I would have been nearing my 20th week. I would have been feeling the movements of life within me and would have been laying awake at night praying over that tiny form just as I have done with my other four children. Instead the past three weeks have been filled with listless, lonely nights with sleep just beyond my reach. Even in sheer exhaustion as I lay down my chest seems to clamp within a vice and my heart races to an unbearable rate. I beg for focus but seem so far from God - my Comforter. I feel as David felt - "How long will you stay hidden from me?" - though I know he is right there. I try to be silent and still - waiting; but many nights find me wandering from bed to bed praying over my sleeping family. I have even gathered my sleeping itty-bittys (Rachel and Justin) into my arms just to breathe them in and rock them or leaned closely to Anna and Chase (who are now too big for me to pick up without rousing them from sleep) just to trace their brow and kiss their forehead. I never could have imagined the magnitude of such loss or how my arms would ache so bad to hold Caleb, to kiss his fuzzy little baby head, to hold him close to nurse, or to rock him to sleep in the silent of night. My heart absolutely aches at the realization that I will not see his first steps or ever hear his laughter (what would that have sounded like anyway), or see his eyes look into mine with unconditional love, or see him grow up.
I know God's goodness - I've experience His mercy - stood washed in His grace - been rocked asleep in His arms - and heard His whispered love. I do not doubt He has gathered and counted every tear. I know that Caleb is experiencing perfect love - a love not fully experienced here on earth because we are sullied by sin and walk in wretched humanity unable to experience such love in its absolute fullness. I believe with all my heart that God whispers our love for Caleb to him and has told him that we will soon be together. However, in my humanity I am weak and broken - and my heart is in agony and the recovery is slow. I feel poured out and broken before my Father, laying on His alter.
I did not choose this loss - it was written in my story before time began by a Just and Loving God. It is simply a part of my journey to my "expected end" that is promised in scripture - the purpose and end God has planned for me. My choice was and still remains: will I surrender this life to God's will - will I invite Him and allow Him to work in me and through me to make my life a tapestry woven of the finer things of God - the end product being a completed work of God - a reflection of Him to whom I belong. Yes....though I be weak I will depend on His strenght as I surrender.
I did not chose this loss - for if it had been my plan I would be welcoming a healthy baby into the world - but then my plan would have meant omitting God and the blessings of Him who gives and takes away. The truth remains though that we have no choice in life or death - God has numbered our days, has set our path. Our choice is what we do with this free will, this life that has been given each of us. I am called to trust that which I can not see, to trust that all this works for my good because of whom I believe in. I am called to fall back on the arms that held me before time and that will welcome me home some day.
I have come to see how truly unworthy I am of God's love. In my selfish humanity I would not choose this loss. However, because of my once unredeemed state and because of His great love for me - God chose His loss that it would become my greatest gain. While we as parents pray for protection and recovery of our children, while we beg for the miracle of life to be sustained, while we cling to them as though we could influence providence, add one day to their life, or save them from even one sorrow - My God sent is only son into the frame of sinful humanity. To walk on this cursed ground in the weakened flesh of man, to be tempted, taunted, tortured, and killed by the sinful creation. He willingly set into motion a plan that would in the end break His holy heart for an unholy, unworthy, created being - ME - a sinner worthy only of judgment and the death. On the day that they crucified my Lord it is said that the sky turned black at noon and that the earth rocked and rumbled and split wide open - Creation cried out as Abba's heart broke that mine might be restored.
So who am I to question this loss I did not choose - this child I was asked to return to the one who created him in the first place and who blessed us with him for a short time? Should I not praise, even in this broken state? Who am I to question the Creator who answered so many prayers during the pregnancy - worked so many miracles - allowed me to utter His testimonies of goodness?
Grace allowed me to see my son's tiny form on ultrasound, to hear his heartbeat to the cadence of unknown angels songs. Love descended as a blanket from above in nights as I prayed over Caleb. Peace is like a hushed breeze around me as I walk this valley of suffering and as we walked through the shadow of death to emerge with praises. Mercy has delivered me from the arrows of the enemy. My Father's hands have lovingly gathered my tears and counted every one a precious offering. My Father's arms have wrapped around Brent and I and held us closely causing us to fall more in love with Him and more deeply and intimately in love with each other.
I will praise in this hour of suffering for beautiful things have been shown me.
I go to church on Sunday mornings and the praise music begins and this broken heart held together so gingerly shatters once more on the alter of praise as I am brought to remembrance of this great God who chose to sacrifice His only son for me. I come face to face with this Grace, this Love, this Mercy that has become so personal to me and that was given at such a chosen loss of my God. I who am unworthy am ushered into inner courts, into the holy of holies to praise before the alter, at the feet of the King. At times I can't even breathe, my tears fall in waves, I hold tightly the pew afraid to trust my own legs to support myself. My soul feels like it will burst. I am unworthy even to whisper His name. Yet here He invites me in to worship and in offering up this praise He sends healing waters to my heart. He sends visions of my son in the midst of the crowd of saints in the heavenly courts of praise raising tiny baby arms up to the Lord with smiles and laughter. Uninhibited, freely praising - giggling, dancing up and down in pure undiluted excitement.
I am not worthy of such honor and yet He has chosen to give it to me.
I am enthralled by this King, in love with this Savior, captivated by this Father, consumed by this God.
Thank you, O Abba for choosing your loss that it would be my greatest gain. Thank you, Lord, that you can take the loss I would not have chosen and the pain of that loss and make it more beautiful because of your presence in it. Take this life of mine, and use it according to your plan. I choose, O God, to give you alone the glory in my joy and in my suffering. If left to my own choices in this frail humanity I will always fall short of your blessed plan for my life. But I have confidence in the One who called me that you have laid my path and I leave my choices in your hand for your direction. I am surrendered. Amen
This Thanksgiving I would have been nearing my 20th week. I would have been feeling the movements of life within me and would have been laying awake at night praying over that tiny form just as I have done with my other four children. Instead the past three weeks have been filled with listless, lonely nights with sleep just beyond my reach. Even in sheer exhaustion as I lay down my chest seems to clamp within a vice and my heart races to an unbearable rate. I beg for focus but seem so far from God - my Comforter. I feel as David felt - "How long will you stay hidden from me?" - though I know he is right there. I try to be silent and still - waiting; but many nights find me wandering from bed to bed praying over my sleeping family. I have even gathered my sleeping itty-bittys (Rachel and Justin) into my arms just to breathe them in and rock them or leaned closely to Anna and Chase (who are now too big for me to pick up without rousing them from sleep) just to trace their brow and kiss their forehead. I never could have imagined the magnitude of such loss or how my arms would ache so bad to hold Caleb, to kiss his fuzzy little baby head, to hold him close to nurse, or to rock him to sleep in the silent of night. My heart absolutely aches at the realization that I will not see his first steps or ever hear his laughter (what would that have sounded like anyway), or see his eyes look into mine with unconditional love, or see him grow up.
I know God's goodness - I've experience His mercy - stood washed in His grace - been rocked asleep in His arms - and heard His whispered love. I do not doubt He has gathered and counted every tear. I know that Caleb is experiencing perfect love - a love not fully experienced here on earth because we are sullied by sin and walk in wretched humanity unable to experience such love in its absolute fullness. I believe with all my heart that God whispers our love for Caleb to him and has told him that we will soon be together. However, in my humanity I am weak and broken - and my heart is in agony and the recovery is slow. I feel poured out and broken before my Father, laying on His alter.
I did not choose this loss - it was written in my story before time began by a Just and Loving God. It is simply a part of my journey to my "expected end" that is promised in scripture - the purpose and end God has planned for me. My choice was and still remains: will I surrender this life to God's will - will I invite Him and allow Him to work in me and through me to make my life a tapestry woven of the finer things of God - the end product being a completed work of God - a reflection of Him to whom I belong. Yes....though I be weak I will depend on His strenght as I surrender.
I did not chose this loss - for if it had been my plan I would be welcoming a healthy baby into the world - but then my plan would have meant omitting God and the blessings of Him who gives and takes away. The truth remains though that we have no choice in life or death - God has numbered our days, has set our path. Our choice is what we do with this free will, this life that has been given each of us. I am called to trust that which I can not see, to trust that all this works for my good because of whom I believe in. I am called to fall back on the arms that held me before time and that will welcome me home some day.
I have come to see how truly unworthy I am of God's love. In my selfish humanity I would not choose this loss. However, because of my once unredeemed state and because of His great love for me - God chose His loss that it would become my greatest gain. While we as parents pray for protection and recovery of our children, while we beg for the miracle of life to be sustained, while we cling to them as though we could influence providence, add one day to their life, or save them from even one sorrow - My God sent is only son into the frame of sinful humanity. To walk on this cursed ground in the weakened flesh of man, to be tempted, taunted, tortured, and killed by the sinful creation. He willingly set into motion a plan that would in the end break His holy heart for an unholy, unworthy, created being - ME - a sinner worthy only of judgment and the death. On the day that they crucified my Lord it is said that the sky turned black at noon and that the earth rocked and rumbled and split wide open - Creation cried out as Abba's heart broke that mine might be restored.
So who am I to question this loss I did not choose - this child I was asked to return to the one who created him in the first place and who blessed us with him for a short time? Should I not praise, even in this broken state? Who am I to question the Creator who answered so many prayers during the pregnancy - worked so many miracles - allowed me to utter His testimonies of goodness?
Grace allowed me to see my son's tiny form on ultrasound, to hear his heartbeat to the cadence of unknown angels songs. Love descended as a blanket from above in nights as I prayed over Caleb. Peace is like a hushed breeze around me as I walk this valley of suffering and as we walked through the shadow of death to emerge with praises. Mercy has delivered me from the arrows of the enemy. My Father's hands have lovingly gathered my tears and counted every one a precious offering. My Father's arms have wrapped around Brent and I and held us closely causing us to fall more in love with Him and more deeply and intimately in love with each other.
I will praise in this hour of suffering for beautiful things have been shown me.
I go to church on Sunday mornings and the praise music begins and this broken heart held together so gingerly shatters once more on the alter of praise as I am brought to remembrance of this great God who chose to sacrifice His only son for me. I come face to face with this Grace, this Love, this Mercy that has become so personal to me and that was given at such a chosen loss of my God. I who am unworthy am ushered into inner courts, into the holy of holies to praise before the alter, at the feet of the King. At times I can't even breathe, my tears fall in waves, I hold tightly the pew afraid to trust my own legs to support myself. My soul feels like it will burst. I am unworthy even to whisper His name. Yet here He invites me in to worship and in offering up this praise He sends healing waters to my heart. He sends visions of my son in the midst of the crowd of saints in the heavenly courts of praise raising tiny baby arms up to the Lord with smiles and laughter. Uninhibited, freely praising - giggling, dancing up and down in pure undiluted excitement.
I am not worthy of such honor and yet He has chosen to give it to me.
I am enthralled by this King, in love with this Savior, captivated by this Father, consumed by this God.
Thank you, O Abba for choosing your loss that it would be my greatest gain. Thank you, Lord, that you can take the loss I would not have chosen and the pain of that loss and make it more beautiful because of your presence in it. Take this life of mine, and use it according to your plan. I choose, O God, to give you alone the glory in my joy and in my suffering. If left to my own choices in this frail humanity I will always fall short of your blessed plan for my life. But I have confidence in the One who called me that you have laid my path and I leave my choices in your hand for your direction. I am surrendered. Amen
The Journey
This journey I've been called to has been a winding road
Sometimes I've thought I could no longer bear the load
I've come to see my Savior in all His glory and His grace
when on my knees before him, I fell upon my face.
This earthly vessel's been battered by my circumstance
I've lost my song and joy, lost my heart for dance
I've doubted just as Thomas, who wanted to believe
but found his heart wavered and it was easy to deceive
I've wrestled with the enemy in deep dark nights
Been wounded in the battle lost many of my fights
My heart has been broken, shattered on the ground
My life lain open for all those around
Many times I struggled on this earthly path
to withstand the enemy in all of his wrath
I've stumbled on the slippery slopes of my fleshly pride
and hidden from the truth when I've believed what Satan implied
But in the midst of me - imperfect though I am
Came the cleansing waters that wash as no one can
That brilliant scarlet flood that cleanses every soul
Sets the captive free and makes the broken whole
And in my darkest hour, desperate for peace
I've experienced grace and its sweet release
Surrendered now I travel on this journey long
with salvation as my banner and mercy as my song
In myself I fail, there is no chance of victory
On my own I can not enter Heavens sweet eternity
But surrendered to my Savior - given to his will
My feet are steadied, this anxious heart made still
These things that are so hopeless, suddenly turn bright
When my Savior is there to shine His holy light
So all I give to him, who gave his all for me
Together we'll finish this spiritual journey
"Our God is in control" by Steven Curtis Chapman
Sometimes I've thought I could no longer bear the load
I've come to see my Savior in all His glory and His grace
when on my knees before him, I fell upon my face.
This earthly vessel's been battered by my circumstance
I've lost my song and joy, lost my heart for dance
I've doubted just as Thomas, who wanted to believe
but found his heart wavered and it was easy to deceive
I've wrestled with the enemy in deep dark nights
Been wounded in the battle lost many of my fights
My heart has been broken, shattered on the ground
My life lain open for all those around
Many times I struggled on this earthly path
to withstand the enemy in all of his wrath
I've stumbled on the slippery slopes of my fleshly pride
and hidden from the truth when I've believed what Satan implied
But in the midst of me - imperfect though I am
Came the cleansing waters that wash as no one can
That brilliant scarlet flood that cleanses every soul
Sets the captive free and makes the broken whole
And in my darkest hour, desperate for peace
I've experienced grace and its sweet release
Surrendered now I travel on this journey long
with salvation as my banner and mercy as my song
In myself I fail, there is no chance of victory
On my own I can not enter Heavens sweet eternity
But surrendered to my Savior - given to his will
My feet are steadied, this anxious heart made still
These things that are so hopeless, suddenly turn bright
When my Savior is there to shine His holy light
So all I give to him, who gave his all for me
Together we'll finish this spiritual journey
"Our God is in control" by Steven Curtis Chapman
Don't Waste the Pain - - A book review
Don't Waste the Pain David Lyons & Linda Lyons Richardson
Strap in for a emotional and spiritual ride as you are invited into the personal journeys of pain and discovery of a brother and sister and their respective families.
This book arrived on my doorstep 7 days after burying my youngest son, Caleb Levi born at 4 months. It truly was a poignant, heart-rending book. At times I felt as though a vice-clamp was around my heart and I could not breathe as I recognized the raw emotions of the pain they felt and the peace that followed at crying out to Christ. I can certainly relate to the heartbreaking prayers of a mother and the soul shattering ache when I lost my son. Though spiritual sight supersedes physical and offers a more beautiful picture - letting go of a child after endless prayers for a miracle is a terrible lonely pain. How wonderful to know that God is in control and though the physical hurts - there is peace in knowing where our loved ones go and beauty in the knowledge of the presence of grace in our lives. I barely could read the letter that they read upon having to meet with physicians about removing life-support as it so closely resembled one of my last prayers for Caleb - "Father he was yours from the beginning of time, never mine, I surrender my life to your plan, and his life to you. You are the sustainer - the one who gives and takes away - I only ask Lord that you strengthen me, comfort me, and whisper words of love to me because I know Lord if he goes to be with you that my heart will shatter and my soul will ache, and my arms will long to hold him - Prepare me for your will, Lord that you may be glorified..."
I can not begin to imagine the struggle of Linda, but I appreciate the openness and rawness of her emotions. She holds nothing back from the reader as she generously opens her personal journals. The reader is invited into the war zone - to see first hand the battle of truth and the enemy as she struggles to stay focused on Christ and His provision and divine purpose for her life. This battle is truly a battle each christian must face though the attack of the enemy is very different for each of and each of us has a different battle field: for some it is health, others family or financial, but the battle is the same. A battle for what we will hold as truth -will we allow our suffering to strengthen our faith and make our lives more beautiful through the storm or will we surrender the victory and accept defeat in the form of depression, loss, despair, and desperation of lost hope.
This book shows in clearness that God refines us into something more beautiful so that emerging from the storm, walking in the shadow of death, or climbing/descending a treacherous rocky mountainside we can give glory to the one who gives and takes away, who sustains us, and who says "Do Not Fear for I am able to deliver you, and to show you things that you have not known."
If you know someone going through a trial, or someone emerging from a storm, someone in great suffering of heart this is an excellent book of the affirmation of God's grace and mercy toward his children.
Thank you, David and Linda for allowing us to see God's work in your lives.
Thank you NavPress for this review copy.
Strap in for a emotional and spiritual ride as you are invited into the personal journeys of pain and discovery of a brother and sister and their respective families.
This book arrived on my doorstep 7 days after burying my youngest son, Caleb Levi born at 4 months. It truly was a poignant, heart-rending book. At times I felt as though a vice-clamp was around my heart and I could not breathe as I recognized the raw emotions of the pain they felt and the peace that followed at crying out to Christ. I can certainly relate to the heartbreaking prayers of a mother and the soul shattering ache when I lost my son. Though spiritual sight supersedes physical and offers a more beautiful picture - letting go of a child after endless prayers for a miracle is a terrible lonely pain. How wonderful to know that God is in control and though the physical hurts - there is peace in knowing where our loved ones go and beauty in the knowledge of the presence of grace in our lives. I barely could read the letter that they read upon having to meet with physicians about removing life-support as it so closely resembled one of my last prayers for Caleb - "Father he was yours from the beginning of time, never mine, I surrender my life to your plan, and his life to you. You are the sustainer - the one who gives and takes away - I only ask Lord that you strengthen me, comfort me, and whisper words of love to me because I know Lord if he goes to be with you that my heart will shatter and my soul will ache, and my arms will long to hold him - Prepare me for your will, Lord that you may be glorified..."
I can not begin to imagine the struggle of Linda, but I appreciate the openness and rawness of her emotions. She holds nothing back from the reader as she generously opens her personal journals. The reader is invited into the war zone - to see first hand the battle of truth and the enemy as she struggles to stay focused on Christ and His provision and divine purpose for her life. This battle is truly a battle each christian must face though the attack of the enemy is very different for each of and each of us has a different battle field: for some it is health, others family or financial, but the battle is the same. A battle for what we will hold as truth -will we allow our suffering to strengthen our faith and make our lives more beautiful through the storm or will we surrender the victory and accept defeat in the form of depression, loss, despair, and desperation of lost hope.
This book shows in clearness that God refines us into something more beautiful so that emerging from the storm, walking in the shadow of death, or climbing/descending a treacherous rocky mountainside we can give glory to the one who gives and takes away, who sustains us, and who says "Do Not Fear for I am able to deliver you, and to show you things that you have not known."
If you know someone going through a trial, or someone emerging from a storm, someone in great suffering of heart this is an excellent book of the affirmation of God's grace and mercy toward his children.
Thank you, David and Linda for allowing us to see God's work in your lives.
Thank you NavPress for this review copy.
Water Walking Faith
Matthew 14:28 "Lord if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.."
This is a familiar passage. The apostles were out in the boat and a storm came up suddenly and fiercely. The waves raged against the ship and threatened to break it apart. The apostles, frightened by what they saw, struggled to correct the situation. The winds hissed the lies of the enemy...."overboard, overboard, it's hopeless, it's hopeless..." Here they were surrounded by the darkness of night, their tiny vessel battered by tumultuous waves, the sails battered and ripped by the wind - without escape, seemingly without hope.
Then calmly, walking in the midst of the storm - on the tossing waves was a figure. "Is this a dream - is it a ghost - what is this that comes toward us - an angel of death???" The fear, the worry, the unknown - all in the form of questions.
And then the voice - "Be of good cheer, it is I, be not afraid"
That calm steady voice. So very quiet it could have been missed amidst the rage of the storm, it could have been lost in the hiss of the wind, could have been drowned out by the pounding waves. But it is that voice that pierces all darkness, cuts through all distraction. It is that voice that demands an audience, complete attention - it can not be ignored. It demands action - will you stop to listen?
I have come to love this passage of scripture over the past year as God has brought so much to me in these 12 months. He has taught me the truth of water walking faith. You see I knew this story...I had a head knowledge of it...I believed it to be true - but when was I ever going to be out on the water to walk upon it?
Simply a Sunday school story miracle.
What a deception of the enemy!
Water walking faith happens all the time, are you ready for it?
Water walking faith, however, has a cost. You must be willing to accept the storm to
see the miracle. You must be willing to look only at God to trade in the physical for the spiritual. To trust what you don't see, can't explain, know in this physical world is impossible and believe in the one who said "Fear Not".
I love Peter's response when he hears that familiar voice - the voice of the one he has come to trust as Savior, Messiah, Master, and Teacher. The one he has heard call the dead to rise, the blind to see, the possessed to be set free. The one he has heard pray and talk with Father God.
"Lord, If it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.."
For me it came, all to often, in a question like this - and I believe this is the way many of us have phrased it: "Lord, my world is falling apart, my heart is shattered....IF you are here call me - show me a miracle"
But look closely at Peter's request. He did not ask for a miracle, he did not even ask that the storm be calmed. He asked for Jesus to bid him to come to him on the water. THROUGH the storm, in the midst of the turmoil. He wanted Jesus to bid him come into his presence. He knew something so many of us forget, or never fully learn, or somehow don't grasp - He Knew where safety was. Safety was not in that earthly vessel, it was only in the presence, the company, at the feet of, in the arms of JESUS. No where else.
My request has become: "Father, here it is - my life, all that I am, just as I am - use me: help my sight be on you and you alone."
As we continue this we see that Jesus responds to Peter with firmness and authority in verse 29 - One simple word, "COME"
Come: step out, a simple command. Come....do you hear it? An invitation of Jesus into the safety of his arms.
Please note that the storm has not stilled. Very likely the others are a mixed group: some terrified still, others staring in disbelief as the events unfold. The winds still rage, the waves still pound - - - the enemy still attacks with his lies: "it is hopeless, it is hopeless, give up, there is no salvation"
But there in the midst is the truth "FEAR NOT, IT IS I - the I Am, the Alpha and Omega, The Strong Tower - FEAR NOT I am able to deliver you - I love you, you are mine!"
Peter stepped out in the midst of that storm - eyes on Jesus. One foot after the other, walking on water. All is well even in the midst of the raging storm because all he could see was Jesus' face, all he looked at was that out stretched arm - all he listened for was that calm, quiet, authoritative voice.
But the enemy was still there whispering. And Peter saw the crashing waves, he saw that his feet were on uncertain ground that rolled and shifted and threatened to upturn him. He looked away.
In verse 30 we see him sink.
Then the miracle of grace comes in - He cried out and Jesus lifted him up.
Thank you Lord for that grace! "Why did you doubt?" Jesus asked.
So it is still - why did you doubt, why do you worry - you are my child, I love you and know you and have set forth your days, I have good thoughts toward you - plans for an expected end.
Wow!
Why?? - because we are weak, we are of this physical world - because our faith falters, and we long to be in control.
Through this year God has shown me spiritual things that are more beautiful than anything this world has to offer. However, it has come at the cost of my being in control. Some say this should be easy - but I ask each of you to look closely at your heart, seek that which is hidden. Is is not our tendency to try to fix things, cope with things, be the strong one.
In my darkest hours as the enemy whispered his lies of defeat I cried out to Jesus to show me the cross, to extend his hand, to comfort my heart. In my times of doubt I have learned to ask for His perfect strength, His understanding, His peace.
My earthly vessel is weak and battered. It shatters easily when the waves of life beat upon it. This road I walk shifts beneath my feet and I stumble. Sometimes this world I know falls around me, and the things I thought were in my control slip through my hands like sand. These dreams I cherish sometimes never come true, these hopes I treasure sometimes are stolen or broken. These things I strive for sometimes do not happen. These prayers I whisper are not always answered the way I want.
Yet it is all beautiful - and perfect - and calm.
Water walking faith is trading in this physical sight for things unseen - it is looking to Jesus and through him it is being given spiritual sight of things more beautiful and precious, things hoped for, believed in and things to come. It is grace in its purest form.
Water walking faith means in the midst of the storm you accept it for what it is - a storm that will pass - and look to what will be - The perfect will of God.
This is no easy thing, there are times we will begin to sink. But this is our hope - "IT IS I" will immediately pull us out of the crashing waves when we cry out.
My darkest hours were still dark, my pain was and is still very much real. But in those hours when the enemy whispered and in those hours when my world shifted, and in those hours when my hopes shattered - I was allowed to see the cross and Jesus said "COME".
Our circumstances and storms may not change - that is not what water walking faith is. It is just that our focus, like Peter's, changes from the storm to the Sustainer, from the lies to the Truth, from the bondage to the Freedom, from the Fear to the Peace-giver, from the shifting ground of life to the Solid Rock of Christ.
When he bids you come - step out. Surrender and walk upon the water. Invite Jesus to take your life and make it calm in the midst of the storm.
If we began to live out water walking faith a revival would sweep our nation. For you can not walk into grace and experience water walking faith and not be changed.
Surrender your life - all that you are - to Christ. Be as Peter and ask that He bid you out into the water.
This is a familiar passage. The apostles were out in the boat and a storm came up suddenly and fiercely. The waves raged against the ship and threatened to break it apart. The apostles, frightened by what they saw, struggled to correct the situation. The winds hissed the lies of the enemy...."overboard, overboard, it's hopeless, it's hopeless..." Here they were surrounded by the darkness of night, their tiny vessel battered by tumultuous waves, the sails battered and ripped by the wind - without escape, seemingly without hope.
Then calmly, walking in the midst of the storm - on the tossing waves was a figure. "Is this a dream - is it a ghost - what is this that comes toward us - an angel of death???" The fear, the worry, the unknown - all in the form of questions.
And then the voice - "Be of good cheer, it is I, be not afraid"
That calm steady voice. So very quiet it could have been missed amidst the rage of the storm, it could have been lost in the hiss of the wind, could have been drowned out by the pounding waves. But it is that voice that pierces all darkness, cuts through all distraction. It is that voice that demands an audience, complete attention - it can not be ignored. It demands action - will you stop to listen?
I have come to love this passage of scripture over the past year as God has brought so much to me in these 12 months. He has taught me the truth of water walking faith. You see I knew this story...I had a head knowledge of it...I believed it to be true - but when was I ever going to be out on the water to walk upon it?
Simply a Sunday school story miracle.
What a deception of the enemy!
Water walking faith happens all the time, are you ready for it?
Water walking faith, however, has a cost. You must be willing to accept the storm to
see the miracle. You must be willing to look only at God to trade in the physical for the spiritual. To trust what you don't see, can't explain, know in this physical world is impossible and believe in the one who said "Fear Not".
I love Peter's response when he hears that familiar voice - the voice of the one he has come to trust as Savior, Messiah, Master, and Teacher. The one he has heard call the dead to rise, the blind to see, the possessed to be set free. The one he has heard pray and talk with Father God.
"Lord, If it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.."
For me it came, all to often, in a question like this - and I believe this is the way many of us have phrased it: "Lord, my world is falling apart, my heart is shattered....IF you are here call me - show me a miracle"
But look closely at Peter's request. He did not ask for a miracle, he did not even ask that the storm be calmed. He asked for Jesus to bid him to come to him on the water. THROUGH the storm, in the midst of the turmoil. He wanted Jesus to bid him come into his presence. He knew something so many of us forget, or never fully learn, or somehow don't grasp - He Knew where safety was. Safety was not in that earthly vessel, it was only in the presence, the company, at the feet of, in the arms of JESUS. No where else.
My request has become: "Father, here it is - my life, all that I am, just as I am - use me: help my sight be on you and you alone."
As we continue this we see that Jesus responds to Peter with firmness and authority in verse 29 - One simple word, "COME"
Come: step out, a simple command. Come....do you hear it? An invitation of Jesus into the safety of his arms.
Please note that the storm has not stilled. Very likely the others are a mixed group: some terrified still, others staring in disbelief as the events unfold. The winds still rage, the waves still pound - - - the enemy still attacks with his lies: "it is hopeless, it is hopeless, give up, there is no salvation"
But there in the midst is the truth "FEAR NOT, IT IS I - the I Am, the Alpha and Omega, The Strong Tower - FEAR NOT I am able to deliver you - I love you, you are mine!"
Peter stepped out in the midst of that storm - eyes on Jesus. One foot after the other, walking on water. All is well even in the midst of the raging storm because all he could see was Jesus' face, all he looked at was that out stretched arm - all he listened for was that calm, quiet, authoritative voice.
But the enemy was still there whispering. And Peter saw the crashing waves, he saw that his feet were on uncertain ground that rolled and shifted and threatened to upturn him. He looked away.
In verse 30 we see him sink.
Then the miracle of grace comes in - He cried out and Jesus lifted him up.
Thank you Lord for that grace! "Why did you doubt?" Jesus asked.
So it is still - why did you doubt, why do you worry - you are my child, I love you and know you and have set forth your days, I have good thoughts toward you - plans for an expected end.
Wow!
Why?? - because we are weak, we are of this physical world - because our faith falters, and we long to be in control.
Through this year God has shown me spiritual things that are more beautiful than anything this world has to offer. However, it has come at the cost of my being in control. Some say this should be easy - but I ask each of you to look closely at your heart, seek that which is hidden. Is is not our tendency to try to fix things, cope with things, be the strong one.
In my darkest hours as the enemy whispered his lies of defeat I cried out to Jesus to show me the cross, to extend his hand, to comfort my heart. In my times of doubt I have learned to ask for His perfect strength, His understanding, His peace.
My earthly vessel is weak and battered. It shatters easily when the waves of life beat upon it. This road I walk shifts beneath my feet and I stumble. Sometimes this world I know falls around me, and the things I thought were in my control slip through my hands like sand. These dreams I cherish sometimes never come true, these hopes I treasure sometimes are stolen or broken. These things I strive for sometimes do not happen. These prayers I whisper are not always answered the way I want.
Yet it is all beautiful - and perfect - and calm.
Water walking faith is trading in this physical sight for things unseen - it is looking to Jesus and through him it is being given spiritual sight of things more beautiful and precious, things hoped for, believed in and things to come. It is grace in its purest form.
Water walking faith means in the midst of the storm you accept it for what it is - a storm that will pass - and look to what will be - The perfect will of God.
This is no easy thing, there are times we will begin to sink. But this is our hope - "IT IS I" will immediately pull us out of the crashing waves when we cry out.
My darkest hours were still dark, my pain was and is still very much real. But in those hours when the enemy whispered and in those hours when my world shifted, and in those hours when my hopes shattered - I was allowed to see the cross and Jesus said "COME".
Our circumstances and storms may not change - that is not what water walking faith is. It is just that our focus, like Peter's, changes from the storm to the Sustainer, from the lies to the Truth, from the bondage to the Freedom, from the Fear to the Peace-giver, from the shifting ground of life to the Solid Rock of Christ.
When he bids you come - step out. Surrender and walk upon the water. Invite Jesus to take your life and make it calm in the midst of the storm.
If we began to live out water walking faith a revival would sweep our nation. For you can not walk into grace and experience water walking faith and not be changed.
Surrender your life - all that you are - to Christ. Be as Peter and ask that He bid you out into the water.
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